So here i am blurting again.. to no one.

i have split in to two half's

and they are both broken

i dare not tell anyone..

Everybody knows some times you have to choose between your own

happiness and the ´right thing´

Today i let the first arrow fire at my self to shelter and keep safe

´the right thing´ to rectify ´the situation.´

so now i just have to not flinch..

just let it hurt

sink deeep in to me

and smile.

no sudden movements

no sign of struggle

or regret.

i wont give it away.

just

implode

oh so quietly

and cover it

with my beautiful smile.

Hello blog long time no see

so alot has happend since my last need

to type into this little blank white space.

but basicly

i am a monster

it has come inside me

i let it in you see

i sauced out tradgedy

again

so aluring

dam it

dam him

dam, him i couldnt even curse his name!

and some how after moments of melting like butter in to bliss

here i sit

compramised

a monster

i cant even say what it was that i have done

i couldnt even confess it to a stranger

..

but i have come out of a haze..

an overwealming sadness that rushed over me

trigered it

awoke it

trigered the hunger of the

little monster sleeping quietly inside me

trigered the down ward spiral how many pills shots

joints and glasses of strait vodka i have had is really a mistery

but i remember roaming on a warpath

a path of punishment.

shit.

the mosnter masicist one this round.